As I progressed in my spiritual journey over the last 3 years, more and more did I start to value silence, seclusion, time by myself, quiet, for that is how I felt I will be able to connect to myself (and so Hashem, my essence). I want to be spiritually elevated, full of clarity and wisdom, is what I thought, so of course it will be my priority to take at least one hour a day to meditate, contemplate and fully focus on myself! This was my way to achieve a higher and more refined state of being.
Last year I was part of a gap-year program filled by many talking and loud teenagers – one of my favorite days during the whole time of my being there was the Vipassana day. No talking. No interactions. Just me, seclusion, nature and Hashem. This is the ultimate connection.
Is it really? Hello! I love proving myself and my ideals wrong, flipping them over, throwing them in the garbage, feeling like a fool, finding my so well-thoght-out ideas to be vain and dull!!!!!! !!!! What a great feeling to replace this void of ego with the living wells of wisdom, the truth, Torah…
spiritual gluttony is no less selfish than the physical sort, and one who focuses solely on self-realization and self-fulfillment — be it in the most positive and lofty sense — is turning his Holy Temple inside out.*
Here comes the story of Avraham, who gave up everything to serve Hashem. He represents the sefira (attribute) of Chesed, kindness – he lived in the desert for the purpose of serving hungry, wandering people a place to stay, food and drink.
One day he sits in his tent and G-d reveals Himself to Avraham. This is exactly what the seeker of spirituality wants to reach, it is the peak and goal of our thinking, meditation, self-growth and service – to see and feel the eternal and transcendental truth revealed in front of us.
As soon as Avraham sees people walk up to his tent though, he leaves the conversation with G-d in order to serve his guests. It didn’t matter who they were – even if it were idol worshippers, there was no difference for Avraham. He represents ultimate kindness in this world.
Although in that moment he experienced revelation and the highest connection to our source, he wanted to withdraw to physicality.
We have to disconnect in order to connect to Hashem. What does this mean?
The very actions that carry the most holiness and bring us closer to G-d are veiled in physicality! Helping a sick or exhausted person even though you have not meditated yet, talking to someone who needs emotional support instead of listening to music on a walk by yourself after a long day and so on.. Us helping other people is G-ds will.
As we draw closer spiritually, we realise more and more that we can draw even closer through physicality and everyday-life.
True, the more one himself possesses, the more he has to give to others.
We should remember that the reaching of spiritual heights and closeness to our creator happens through our involvement in physicality – not by escaping it.
May we all be filled with kavanah – intention, in our day-to-day life, in things that seem mundane, may we have a constant awareness of Hashems joy when He sees us do good deeds of kindness, patience and generosity (qualities I am currently trying to instill in my conduct) in these worldly matters which we should find to make up the greatness of our service (=drawing closer).
If you liked this idea and can relate to it in some way or another, share it in your own personal way at your shabbat table ! Or with anyone. I wish you a wonderful shabbat filled with peace and torah.
*https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/41989/jewish/The-Outdoor-Altar.htm