Sometimes the holiness finds channels to come down to us. Actually, all the time. It’s just sometimes that we feel. So when these times come about, they deeply penetrate. They make me tremble from inside, an inside that’s more profound; far less material than anything I normally experience as a human, a body. It’s moments in which my soul seems to take over, nullifying the physical.
And then my body, my face, they also begin trembling, overwhelmed by this light that now pierces through my being much less concealed than usual. Comparable to the bare, burning sun hitting the naked eye. This world and the world above meet. How do I handle that which cannot be described through mere words, which you can’t catch with the intellect?
I can not help the tears streaming out of my eyes but also fail to find a comprehensible source. It is my body’s natural reaction – although in these moments it merely serves as a vessel. It is secondary to the experience, in actuality it is the very barrier that separates me from what is reaching down to me.
What am I left with? A taste of divinity. An understanding of vanity. A glimpse of independent clarity.
Gratitude towards life
(at this point i strongly recommend the book “Worldmask” by Rabbi Akiva Tatz – it talks about how this world is a mask behind which Hashem is hiding – the physical world is the concealment of the spiritual source of life. It was a big influence on me becoming more religious; this book opened up the world of chassidut for me, the soul of the torah, it was the first drop of water to my starving soul)