i have become more comfortable within myself
more comfortable to look at my faults and mistakes, not feeling overpowered and ashamed of them but integrating them as part of my being, channeling them into goodness and growth.
I followed my calling to come closer to the jewish part that I carry within me and it made me gain a greater understanding on the meaning of my life, most of all the spiritual structures behind it and that there is one source who we call G-d who gives His creatures (us ! lol xD rofl yes) rules we can choose to follow if we want to be truly happy, complete and successful. Let me subtly say that if you deny G-d you deny reality and actually yourself too
learning the ancient wisdom of my ancestors as well as the guide/rulebook of G-d, the blueprint of the world, the torah, the unquenchable source of life and insight, has allowed me to understand what exactly G-d wants from me. Likened to learning about your fathers preferences, thoughts and literal wishes to be happy with His children, to build a deep deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep depth depthness deep profound personal relationship because all you want is to make your parents happy because they are the ones who give you life and everything you need to sustain it.
By inviting Hashem into my house, my body, my speech, thought, action, by opening the door to Him I understand that I always need to make sure the space is appropriate for Him to dwell in (who is your guest? how do you want to be dressed and your house to look like when they come in?) which requires an active fight against my inner animal
now (as a result of that) living in a state of elevation – because I have made myself (or at least work on making myself) a vessel for the light of the supreme energy which is the source of all
i have become more comfortable within myself because I have invited Hashem and through my work, I allow Him to dwell within me
Overflow of gratitude that Hashem chose me to walk this path with Him. That He tickled me and caused this upheaval within to break out and search for truth
Overwhelmed by the approaching challenge of readapting to life in Germany (& social circles) and establishing the person that I have become
Open for what the future holds and going out into the real world (that isn’t zfat eeeeee) to plant seeds, give, learn, become, discover, face